Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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