i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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