At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
