wanna go halves on a baby?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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