the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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