It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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