Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
