If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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