So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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