yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We are two peas in an std pod
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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