Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
