If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
