K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize