ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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