Please, let me fuck your mom
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
