Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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