I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm passing your future prison.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
