So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
