quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
