Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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