please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
