K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
