You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
