Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
