Do you still have your period?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
