it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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