New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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