Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
