At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
