Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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