Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
