O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
