The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
