next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
