i jhust puked up my retainher.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
soo... how was my night?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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