i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
