you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
