I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
