he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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