there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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