2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
