Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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