I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
