All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
