Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
