Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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