i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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