does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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