ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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