Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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