just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
