Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
