Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize