In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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