He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
