Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
