if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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