You just made me feel so damn special
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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