i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
