Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
