There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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