If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
