Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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